i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
