He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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