nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
