You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
