Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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