He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
