It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
