Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
