I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
