apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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