Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
