sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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