A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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