The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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