i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
