I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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