3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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