Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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