Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
