when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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