just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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