Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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