i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
