You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
