I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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