We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
