If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
