Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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