Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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