I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
