new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
