dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
