My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
