I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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