You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
