It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This house was built for laser tag.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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