I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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