I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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