haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
