Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
