Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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