Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
