brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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