i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Who died my cat blue again?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
