So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
