If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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