In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
