We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
