I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
