But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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