its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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