Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
